The “inLove” section of this book touches on these three areas:
- Your relationship with yourself
- Your circle of Influence (the five people you spend the most time with)
- Being in love with the life you live
The three sections of this book—inLove, inShape, inSpired—are not mutually exclusive. They intertwine and have a relationship with each other. When you lead a life of passion, purpose, and inspiration, you are more likely to be a positive person and, therefore, more likely to take care of your health and fitness. Similarly, when you look great and feel great as a result of regular exercise and quality nutrition (the topic of section one, inShape), it also has a significant effect on your self-esteem, which gives you the confidence to build and nurture positive relationships in your life (and leave the relationships that are not benefiting you), all of which makes up the topic of this section, inLove. You make other good decisions such as ensuring you are in the right career and having adequate levels of faith and belief to get outside your comfort zone and pursue things that inspire you, the focus of the final section, inSpired.
It’s hard to be in top shape if you don’t like who you are. It is challenging to live the life of your dreams when you don’t feel worthy. It is difficult to be your best if you don’t have a positive network of people supporting and encouraging you. If you are in an intimate relationship it’s a great investment of your time and energy to make it the best it can be. You cannot attract positive when you are thinking and feeling negative.
When you are in great shape you have the enthusiasm to do more of the things you love, and the energy to pursue a life of inspiration!
When you are in love with your life and have a great relationship with yourself it provides the self-confidence to take control of your health and the spark to live an inspired life of passion and purpose!
And when you feel inspired you have the drive to be in peak shape and the desire to live a life you love!
If you don’t have a great relationship with yourself, it could be argued that you are no good to anyone. First and foremost, it is your responsibility to become the very best person you can be. From there, your own life will be filled with a greater level of abundance, joy, and beauty. You will exude an aura that has a positive effect on those people closest to you.
We have 7 times more conversation with ourselves through our internal dialogue than we do with everyone else in our life combined. The way we speak to ourselves, and in turn think and feel about ourselves has a monumental impact on our actions, behaviour and physiology, and ultimately the outcomes we produce for ourselves. Whilst I love helping people achieve physical results in terms of strength, fitness, weight loss and improved appearance, the main purpose behind my work is to improve someone’s mental and emotional state. People often say “I will feel happier and more confident when I lose 10kg”. Let me tell you that with a small mindset shift you can be happier and more confident right now.
It really is not fair—to yourself and others—to be dragging your butt through life, operating at 60 percent and being a drain on those around you. Whenever I speak to people who are flat, I ask them what they have planned for the next year, what their goals are, and whether they have any holidays planned. Ninety-five percent of the time they stare blankly back at me.
Do we not realise that we are about halfway through our lives, give or take, and that it’s only going to be downhill from here on unless we take control?
Do we think it is someone else’s job to make us happy? Do we think that fulfilment manufactures itself?
Are you scared to set a big goal?
Do you realise that we all fail sometimes, anyway? I am sure you can think of a bunch of ways you already have. Wouldn’t you rather make a mistake doing something special?
Abundance, joy, and beauty live on the other side of fear, and way outside our comfort zone.
You need to carry your best self into your intimate relationship, into your parenting, and into your work. It is irresponsible and negligent not to.
Let’s turn to Matt to see how it looks when someone determines to carry their best self into all areas of life to live to the fullest. Here’s his story:
It was December 2003, and I had been Matt’s personal trainer for two years. In that time, we had become good friends. He had gone from 143 kilograms to 93 kilograms and had increased his self-confidence a great deal. Matt was 24 years old, and he had never had a girlfriend. Just recently he asked a young lady on a date, and she said yes. He turned up to our personal training that day with some other news too.
After a long period of deliberation, he had decided to leave his job as an accountant in one of the top firms in the city to pursue his dream of entering the fitness industry. A desire for weight loss was the catalyst for Matt to seek support and accountability to improve his life, but the ripple effect from achieving this goal filtered through to every other aspect of his life. It’s results like this that have made me fall in love with my vocation.
Fast-forward 15 years and Matt is married to that woman, and they have three beautiful children. His career has evolved, and he’s now a very successful business mentor. He exercises every week and has the balance he wants. We stopped working together in a professional capacity long ago, but we are still close friends.
This all sounds great, but where do I start?
So how do you enhance your self-image? How do you live a life of passion and purpose?
By doing things that make you grow as a person and by doing things that are bigger than yourself. If you want more, you have to give more, and by giving more, you receive more.
All the resources we need are available to us. All the help, the time, the money, the people, the expertise. We just need to look for them and take action.
We need to believe it is all possible. And we need to be mentally strong.
Setting goals that set your heart alight–goals both large and small–and achieving them, or even just coming close, is one of the surest ways to live a life of passion and purpose. Personal growth is the by-product, meaning you become a better person in the process.
Many people say it is not even about the achievement of the goal, it is the person you become in the process that makes all the difference.
What kind of person do you want to be? Do you want to have the look in your eye like you are on this planet for a reason, and that every day you are moving forward and going somewhere worthwhile?
Or will next year be like this year, which was like last year?
Anthony Robbins says that when you see someone you find attractive, it is not their looks that are appealing. It is a sense of freedom that is most alluring. They have an aura and an X factor that is hard to define. To understand this better, let’s turn to the opposite. Think of someone you know who isn’t free. Are they attractive? Are they attracting opportunities? Do people want to be around them?
Are you an energy vampire, or are you itching to jump out of bed each morning and attack the day?
There is a whole world of personal development out there, waiting to open our eyes and broaden our worlds. It comes in the form of books, seminars, videos, coaches, and mentors. Just one conversation can change your life. And it’s completely different from speaking with a friend or family member. You need the unbiased, objective opinion of someone who is skilled in helping people get the most out of life. This was true for me. Let me share the story of how I was able to change from living a decent and average life to living with passion and zest. here is that story:
It was June 2004, and I was feeling some dissatisfaction with life. I was almost 28 years old, and I engaged the services of a life coach. We spoke in depth, and I recall leaving our first session with three clear major goals:
- To open my own business
- To purchase a property
- To enter into a fulfilling, deeply loving, intimate relationship (something I hadn’t really had up until that point)
Within six months I had achieved all three goals, and this really opened my eyes to the power of coaching.
So, step one in positive change is the awareness that you need to love yourself and be proud of the person you are. Think about ways you can make this happen, and create in your mind a vision of the person you want to be and the life you want to live.