There’s an old quote that says: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”.
Have a think about who these people are for you. Do they lift you up? Do they make you a better person? Do they support your ideas and goals? Do they make you want to raise your standards?
These five people are referred to as your “circle of influence”, and it has been said that they can be responsible for up to 95 percent of your success, failure, happiness, and fulfilment in life. It’s fair to say they are pretty important.
It helps to strive to surround yourself with positive, like-minded people who inspire you, and if you are going to do that, then you need to be a source of inspiration yourself.
It can be challenging when we have had relationships for many years that we feel we have outgrown, and we want to move onwards and upwards, and feel we are being held back. In this case, some open, honest conversations need to be had. In some instances, we need to untie the rope and kick some people to the kerb, if they aren’t supporting the life we want to live. Quite often the reason people drag you down from trying to get more out of life is that your growth and success make them feel more inadequate about their lack of personal development. Trying to get you to remain at their level makes them feel comfortable, and not as much of a failure.
Aside from our external influences, we need to take time to think about our goals and how we want our days to be, and create a vision of a life we will love. The best ways to do this are:
- Set goals for the next three months, 12 months, and three years in all the major areas of life
- Write down a vision for your life
- Create a dream board
Take a moment now to think about your goals. Don’t overthink it! Just grab a pen and paper, or go to your phone notes, and fill in your responses to the sections below:
|3-month health goal:|
|3-month work goal:|
|3-month relationship goal:|
|3-month family goal:|
|3-month friends’ goal:|
|3-month financial goal:|
|3-month social life goal:|
|3-month personal growth goal:|
|12-month health goal:|
|12-month work goal:|
|12-month relationship goal:|
|12-month family goal:|
|12-month friends’ goal:|
|12-month financial goal:|
|12-month social life goal:|
|12-month personal growth goal:|
|3-year Goals (these can be a bit looser because who knows what will be happening in three years? Have fun with it!)|
|3-year health goal:|
|3-year work goal:|
|3-year relationship goal:|
|3-year family goal:|
|3-year friends’ goal:|
|3-year financial goal:|
|3-year social life goal:|
|3-year personal growth goal:|
Creating a Vision for Your Life
This is a visualisation exercise where the end result is a clear, inspiring, written statement outlining exactly how you want your life to be. Write it in the present tense in the first person (meaning with “I”, “me”, “my” etc.). The idea is to read it regularly, and because your subconscious mind does not know the difference between fiction and reality, this vision becomes embedded in your subconscious, and over time the universe will bring it all to fruition.
The easiest way to do this is a three-step process where once again, you identify the most important areas of your life, and then do the following:
- Write down what you don’t want in these areas.
- Reverse it all and write down what you do want.
- Turn it into a story.
Here’s an example:
Step 1—What I Don’t Want
HEALTH: I don’t want to be overweight and lacking energy. I don’t want to struggle with motivation to exercise. I don’t want to be inconsistent with my training. I don’t want to eat bad food.
WORK: I don’t want a job I am bored in. I don’t want to be checking my watch and hanging out for the weekend. I don’t want to work in a negative environment.
RELATIONSHIP: I don’t want to stay in a comfort zone. I don’t want to lose the intimacy and excitement in my relationship. I don’t want to fight.
FAMILY: I don’t want to be distant from my family. I don’t want any family divisions. I don’t want my kids to feel less loved because I work long hours.
FRIENDS: I don’t want to never go out and have fun. I don’t want my long-term friendships to ever lose their magic.
FINANCIAL: I don’t want to struggle with money and be living week to week. I don’t want to be stressed about money.
SOCIAL LIFE: I don’t want to ever go a year without an amazing holiday. I don’t want to get lazy and not plan in advance for fun times with my friends.
PERSONAL GROWTH: I don’t want to be bored or stuck in a rut. I don’t want to be so busy and tired that I have no time to read or do further study.
Now, let’s reverse every phrase to come up with something inspiring!
Step 2—What I Do Want
HEALTH: I want to be lean, slim, fit, strong, and athletic. I want to jump out of my skin with energy. I want to love my exercise and eat healthy, nutritious foods.
WORK: I love my work. The time flies because I am doing work I am passionate about. I want to work with people who are fun and inspiring people, who make every day a pleasure.
RELATIONSHIP: I want to feel loved and love my partner deeply in return. I want to always make the effort to look great and plan dates and have fun. I want a partner who is my best friend and my favourite person in the world. I want someone I can communicate clearly with, and I want us to rarely have arguments.
FAMILY: I want to be close to my family. I want a family who is close and always there for one another. I want to spend quality time with my kids, so they can feel the love I have for them.
FRIENDS: I want to see my friends regularly. I want amazing friendships that last a lifetime.
FINANCIAL: I want to be a great saver of money and have money flow freely to me from multiple sources. I want to feel great about my financial position.
SOCIAL LIFE: I want to always have holidays booked to look forward to. I want to have days out and nights out. and fill my life with fun and adventure.
PERSONAL GROWTH: I want to always be growing and learning. I want to be stimulated by my ongoing levels of personal development.
Step 3–Turn It into a Story
Here’s the fun part! The finished product. Watch how everything from step 2 is turned into a present tense narrative written in the first person.
I am lean, slim, fit, strong, and athletic. I am a machine. I jump out of my skin every day with energy. I love my exercise, I train daily, and I crave natural, healthy, nutritious foods. I love my work. I work with amazing people who make every day a breeze. I feel that my work makes a positive contribution in the world, and I am always growing and developing in a professional capacity. I am in a deeply loving, intimate relationship. We support, nurture, and respect for each other, and we are always laughing and having loads of fun. We communicate clearly and we are best friends. I am close with all of my family members and we are in regular contact. We are always there for one another. I am a great parent and my kids bring an abundance of joy and wonder to my life. I bring joy to my family. I have an incredible group of friends. I feel blessed that my life is so balanced and fulfilling. I have plenty of money to do whatever I want, whenever I want, with whoever I want. I love the home I live in, and I feel safe, strong, and proud of my savings, which grow every month. I take four holidays each year, both domestically and internationally. I love seeing new things and broadening my mind. I live a life of fun and adventure. I am always learning and growing. The more I learn, the more I want to learn. I love the person I am, and I love the life I lead. I have achieved all of this, or something better.
By taking the time to make goals for yourself and create a vision statement story, you help ensure that you are positively influencing your own life. For, just as the five people you spend a lot of time with greatly influence you, you also greatly influence them and you influence yourself. Set yourself up to live your best life and be a positive influence on others and yourself as well. It’s well worth the effort.